cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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