remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I touched a dick in church today
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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