You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
