Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
