I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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