I'm really into asian looking animals
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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