Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
