Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
