i just had sex bonerless
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
