hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
