I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
