Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
there was a trapeze. enough said
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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