So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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