what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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