super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I love having hate sex.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
