fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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