What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
being pregnant is like rehab
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
