We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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