is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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