It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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