just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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