So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize