6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
