They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
