Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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