He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize