It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
