i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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