WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
