I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
