And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
