I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
