Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
