uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
