don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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