It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.