She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?