carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
