Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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