Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
