She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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