I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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