Define "chronic" masturbator.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
