Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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