I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
