the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
