And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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