So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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