my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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