we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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