My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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