Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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