I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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