So drunk its hurt
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
