okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
