Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My vagina is very pro this idea
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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