I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
