I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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