I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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