we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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