just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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