If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
