Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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