I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
