OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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