dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
