Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
