i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
